Boogie avec le Marquis le Marquis’ Intimate Diary

“Sudden Uprising” SATURDAY, 24 MARCH, 2001, NEW ORLEANS
Here’s a Helpful Household Hint straight from me to you, little chick-a-pea. If you feel you’re about to have a soar throat and want to stave it off by taking a zinc pill, please don’t do so on an empty stomach. Zinc pills act as effective and very sudden emetics.

There sat I, plunking away at my little Schubert sonata. Plink, plink, plink. Plunk, plunk, plunk. Not a caaaare in the woooorld. Tra-fuckin’-la. When suddenly and without warning my mouth started watering in that way we all know so well. I flew up from the piano bench, darted around the hardwood floors in my socks (slippery!) and into the Porn Loo and just as I was raising the lid…


Then again…


And again…


And again and again…


And as I kneeled there at the toilet, Brooke Shields, Joan Collins and Suzanne Sommers glaring down at me, contemplating the zinc pill, and thinking gosh, how my bulemic readers will love to hear about this neat trick! I realised another special thing—

That ginger tea tastes almost as good coming up as it does going down. How many foods or drinks can you say that about, hmmm?

So! My new plan to lose weight! (As opposed to my old plan which wasn’t working all that well despite my watertight theorizing.)

Drink ginger tea and take a zinc pill! That way, you can experience all the fun and profit of bulemia, and enjoy the great taste of ginger tea — TWICE!

My god, it’s just crazy enough to work!

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