I write on bar naps. I should probably carry a little book around with me, but I’ll just lose it, so I borrow pens and deface pockets full of bar naps. What do I write on them? Why quippages of course! Funny little things people say that I will wish to recall later. That and toilet literature, but that’s for another day, little chickens.
I’ve been going out with Melusine quite a lot lately. That chick splits my gut, she really does. Ooh yah.
From “Punk and Porno” night which is, obviously, a club that puts sleazy porn flix on the telley, turns down the volume and DJ’s old school punk all night. Fun? You betcha!
Melusine: “It’s always the wrong men who take their shirts off.”
Melusine: “I wish I could remember that thing … oh, there are a lot of things I wish I could remember.”
Melusine: “Arncha gonna quip?”
(I was having a hard time quipping that night because I was doubled over in laughter for most of it.)
Marquis: “A ‘come-hither’ glance is a good thing to know how to do, but perhaps more important to cultivate is the ‘go-thither’ look.”
Melusine: (watching the movie) “Is that Roman times? Oh no, it’s not. It’s just fetish. My eyes were glazed by reincarnation for a moment.”
Melusine: “Don’t you love the term ‘corpulent’?”
Marquis: (projecting an unheard porn actress’s line from the movie) “Don’t you DARE cum on my patent leather THING I had made!”
Marquis: “I wanna film a porn movie and call it ‘Procreation’.”
Melusine: “I’m not sexually attracted to morons.”
Melusine: “That kind of person curdles my loins.”
Melusine: “If he were doing his job, she wouldn’t EVEN be needing to finger herself.”
Melusine: “I’m never finished without fireworks. I mean — HELLO!”
Melusine: “There are only so many people you can ‘raise up’ by copulation.”
Melusine: “Oh, my god no, his penis would taste like cardboard!”
Melusine: “We’re in so much trouble here.”
And I’m wondering — did Dorothy Parker and Oscar Wilde et al fill their handbags with bar naps as well? How did their quippages survive the century?
All righty. I’m off for some skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight, because I am a big ole slut and somebody should spank me.
|
|
