Perhaps you suffer from the same philia that I, and my friend Winifred do — namely, a love of words that can be downright alienating to the common onlooker.

Wordophiles may have stumbled across gaffes in the English language — things, verbs, or concepts that do not have a word ascribed to them.

Thus Winifred and I began making up new words to describe some of these overlooked items.

And thus we began making up words that sounded like they should mean something, but as they are not English words, they have no definitions.

Now is your chance to apply that elusive concept that you always thought should have a word to define it, to a free, blank word that I am offering you. Aren’t I nice.

Many of the words in the vocab list have been assigned meanings. Still more have not.

If you would like to submit a suggestion for one of the blank words below, email your suggestion to Don’t forget to use it in a sentence! All due credits will be mentioned.

aprole:adj. Neither on land, nor in water, nor in the air. For instance, upon a bridge. “We were so struck with the beautiful view from the Bay Bridge, we spent the day aprole.”
zizz:n. A quick nap. “I’ll meet you at The Dervish at midnight after my zizz, okay?” (per giggleminx)
obfroculate:v. To dress in clothes designed to mislead others about your occupation. “The thief obfroculated himself by dressing as the cable guy, so naturally, I let him in the house. Whoops!”
æiœ (ay’-yo):adj. When it appears everyone has forgotten about ‘U’. “Trixie was a boring drunk. When in her cups, people would shun her. She often felt æiœ.” (per astrogrl)
quiss:v. or n. empty fake party kisses, devoid of affection. Air-kiss. “Jenny quissed every bigwig she ran into at the big L.A. party. That social-climbing whore.”
dysantiply:v. To deliberately stomp as many ants as possible to test the theory that everyone has x amount of ants to kill and then they die. “Winifred took some bad mushrooms and spent the next four hours disantiplying on the front stoop.”
coe:adj. A Southern version of cool, indicating that while there may previously have been a rumpus all is well on its way to being resolved without any further intervention. "Nah officer, it's coe, it's coe, no need to take either one of them off to jail or nothing. You want a coke?" (per Blythe Smith)
nellitant:adj. Must take contrary position to anything they are presented with. “Liz shouldn’t drink whiskey. It makes her unbearably nellitant.”
evelent:adj. (antonym of nellitant) Extremely uncomfortable disagreeing with anyone over anything. “When the gang of rednecks cornered me behind the grocery store, I became complacent and evelent to the baffling things coming out of their mouths.”
moogartical:adj. _____________
squaggle:v. or n. The giggle of a teenage girl to the object of her desire. “The day before prom, the girls’ locker room was resonant with hundreds of nervous, anxious quaggles.”
fing:n. A crush on a person from the UK, especially if their UKishness is the main attraction. "Oh my, she has a total fing for him, it's the accent I think." (per Blythe Smith)
morantial:adj. _____________
whizzle:v. To blow air through a straw into a glass of soda. "Most children prefer to whizzle their drinks as an added annoyance." (per Fran.)
reever:n. A person with a Superman complex. “Frankie pushed the child out of the traffic, which was good; but then he became a total reever, which is very annoying.” (per astrogrl)
bistulary:n. A groovy sex pad; an inner sanctum — of which you are clearly the master & others are minions. “Welcome to my bistulary, ’bish!!” (per morriganlefey)
Sandy Scallion:n. A minor inconvenience in an otherwise pleasant experience. "My date was going along swimmingly, until she mentioned that she owned the complete works of Anne Rice. It was a bit of a Sandy Scallion, don't you agree?" (per Churchy.)
thitch:v. Whining for pleasure. “Don’t pay any attention to that drama queen James. Nothing’s really wrong. He’s just thitching to hear his own voice.”
abdule:v. _____________
lipp:n. A gesture with the mouth and fingers. The gesturer creates a 'V' with the first two fingers of the hand, and placing these over the mouth repetitively extrudes the tongue, moving it rapidly, as well as moistening the lips in an exaggerated manner. This indicates a desire to perform an oral sexual act upon a female. Generally considered offensive. "The whistling wasn't a problem but when he full on did the lipp at me I was forced to tell him he had a penis the size of a triple A battery, and the build-up would just lead to me being let down." (per Blythe Smith)
mesocrant:n. A person not entirely blameless nor clearly at fault. “Shoquanda’s power was turned off while she was ironing. Two weeks later when she payed the bill and the power was turned back on, the iron caught the house on fire. The courts ruled that she was a mesocrant and the insurance paid for the damage.”
quank:v. Pushing very specific buttons on someone you know intimately to evince annoyance. “About every 28 days, Barbara quanked the living shit outta Steve. He learned to leave the house for those few days.”
kiss-me-there:n. A spot on your body that when stimulated immediately turns you on. "I was having a horrible time on my blind date until he leaned over and whispered in my ear, blowing hot air on one of my kiss-me-theres. It made me so hot I ignored his halitosis and took him home right away." (per Feetnik.)
chack:v. To lose property due to one’s own carelessness. “Hello, Visa? I chacked my wallet again. Would you lock my account?”
extrillifate:v. To surruptitiously remove something from one’s face. “When Glenda got excited while talking, she would often spit on Marvin, who would smile, nod, and attempt to extrillifate the spittle off his face.”
tring:v. _____________
morpenasure:n. _____________
kiddlebit:n. _____________
sanassarian:adj. Being slightly stooped and moistly decrepit; mildewy. “Ignore that slimy bum on the front steps. He may be sanassarian, but he’s basically harmless.”
fiste:v. To inadvertantly or accidentally steal something. “After coming home from the hardware store, I found three screws in my back pocket that I must have fisted. I didn’t bother taking them back.”
muxious:n. _____________
nowbereft:adj. _____________
Big Lou:n. An erect clitorus sticking out at least an inch. “CHRIST! Didja see the size of that Big Lou?!”
bleer:v. _____________
hepfelt:adj. _____________
inclandeferous:adj. Having a short attention span. “I won’t play poker with Marc because he’s so inclandeferous, we constantly have to remind him it’s his turn.”
oscampfature:n. A conversational skill wherein one uses an irrelevant segue to change the topic to something that interests one. “Todd engaged a clever oscampfature to turn the topic off football. He simply said, ‘Speaking of The Saints, can anyone tell me what Eve Plumb is up to these days?’”
phigget:n. The amount of change currently flying loose in your pocket. “The bum asked me for some change. I reached into my pocket, but I didn't have a phigget to give!”
buttonbottom:n. _____________
maquifate (MA’-ki-fate):v. To apply make-up while driving. “The claims adjuster came to the conclusion that the accident occurred not because Howard was drunk, but because Stephanie was maquifating at the time.”
pfencel (FEN’-sel):_____________
karamakamania:n. The fondness for spoiled food. “Stephen’s homeless days instilled a certain karamakamania in him. He still likes to hang out behind the A & P and just … inhale.”
wheld:v. When the sun goes down before 5pm. “Susan hated the whelding winters. It was dark when she got up for work, and dark when she got home. Consequently, she killed herself.”
greal:v. To smile at someone when you’d rather punch them in the teeth. “As the state trooper handed me my speeding ticket, I nodded, grealed and said thank you.”
poltrounge:n. A xerarch succulent grown in the Sahara Desert tasting of watermelon and tripe. “Pardon me, is that a poltrounge in your pants, or…”
omnigony (om-NIG’-oh-ni):n. That which is everything, yet nothing. “The pathos and omnigony in Brandi’s 10th grade diary was hilarious to read 20 years later.”
potate:v. To choose or vote by waving a finger around, eyes closed, and randomly pointing. “I’ll have the … the … the … (BAM!) well, I guess I’m having the duck pâté with a side of nachos.”
penambulation:n. The sound of a rubber band being pulled from long, tangled hair. “Penambulation makes my hairdresser cringe and wince.”

Working backwards, here are some definitions that need words to go with them. Go on. Give it a shot. Send me your suggestions.

depunumerize:v. To scrape one’s own face off. “Man, that was a bad acid trip. I almost depunumerized myself!” (per Marrus.)
_____________:v. To bleed profusely … and intentionally. “DarkManlyWolf went to the goth club and in a futile effort to impress some chicks, proceeded to _____________.”
_____________:adj. The state of being picked last for a school baseball, dodgeball, soccer team, etc. “Perveneh smelled funny and wore big dumb glasses. At recess, she was always ____________.”
Laffite:v. To walk with pelvis stuck out prominently. “Bruce and Nigel were often seen on the corner of St. Ann and Bourbon, Laffiting like the two-bit sluts that they were.” (per Blythe Smith)
_____________:v. To politely partake in a portion of a dish being served when one knows one won’t enjoy it. “Mary was a vegetarian, but when her hostess emphatically offered her the brisket, Mary grealed and ____________’ed, helping herself to a small portion.”
bonmoron:n. A witty remark that is lost on its audience. “‘Pardon me,’ said Liz, ‘but what is that perfume you’re wearing? I love it. I can smell it all the way at the back of the bus.’ This bonmoron flew right over the odorous woman’s head.” (per Marrus.)
_____________:adj. Obnoxiously cheery and good-natured. “Robin was avoided at the office because of the _____________ way she’d wish everyone a good morning. There was seldom anything good about it.”
_____________:n. A cocksure answer during a job interview when the answer is not really known; a lie on a résumé. “Sampson’s claim that he was C.E.O. of General Motors was clearly a ____________. Everyone knows he’s a street musician.”
_____________:adj. Being fond of those tiny little dogs that shake and piss a lot. “Muffy never left the house without her chihuahua Mitzy in her handbag. Muffy is so fucking ____________ it’s nausiating.”
_____________:adj. Aggressively passive; vehement struggle for pacifism. “That ____________, tree-hugging hippy just torched my SUV!”
_____________:n. The sound a modem or fax emits during connection. “Hey, is your modem or fax connecting, because I hear a ____________.”
_____________:v. To sing in the shower. “Randy annoyed his roommates by ____________’ing in the bathroom every morning.”
_____________:v. To baffle someone with logic. “The lawyer was prone to ____________’ing at the jury, thus ensuring an unfair ruling in his favor.”
tardbegone:n. An aresol repellent affecting only stupid people. “Oh, we’re walking down Bourbon Street? Better bring my can of tardbegone.” (per Marrus.)