A partial list of things that annoy me:
- Mondays. This particular Monday in particular.
- Cat fights at 4am in the other room.
- Your, you’re. It’s, its. Their, there, they’re. And those who cannot (or willn’t) learn the difference.
- That creeping, inescapable feeling that everyone and everything is out to get me. Yourself included.
- Solipsism: The inability to relate to anything or anyone unless it directly pertains to one’s self. (See above.)
- Grey corduroy trousers on German tourists.
- Drowning. In anything.
- Most things “puce”.
- Or tye-dye.
- Stock photography of hip or corporate models shot from above looking down through a fish-eye lens.
- Those shooting pains down my left arm.
- Lollipops that say “Creme Soda” on the wrapper, but end up tasting like bubble gum. Wait, actually, this isn’t so bad. I think it’s growing on me.
- Overtly negative people. Like people who would, say, for instance, compile lists of things they dislike.
- Sequels.
- Losing any tranquility whatsoever over government machinations or other bureaucratic bullshite.
- Belonging to any target market, and then being pitched to.
- Finding out you’ve been kissing the wrong ass. Or person.
- The smell of bananas.
- Labels. On anything. Clothes. People. Filing cabinets. Bottles of beer. Et cetera.
- Running out of annoying things to list.
- Realising that this is an unlikely thing to happen.
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