WEDNESDAY, 23 AUGUST, 2000, EDINBURGH

All right kittens, more photos then. Sheesh, I get three emails in one day all saying the same thing essentially: “More pictures more often less words now please.” Mmm-hmm. All right then. More snaps it is. Here I was thinking I was being terribly clever and entertaining with my anecdotes and y’all are reverting to childhood preferences: “Read us books with pictures daddy!” Next you’ll want the shameful pornographic shots Juju and I have been taking when we could find a darkened alley about the city and an amenable tourist who knows how to press a button. That’s what you want, innit. Ya wee radges! Dairtee coonts!

The Queen popped round for tea and a quick snog. Had a lovely picnic on the shore yesterday arranged by Jooj who fancied the ferryman with the fat rugby arse who took us across to the little island. He may have heard us discussing the merits of his rump-roast and thus the cooled reception as he led us onto the boat — water carries voices with alarming crispness, we recalled too late. More creepy things for you, darlingtons. Here's a lovely little skull emerging from the mud, flanked by dogpaw. …and anothurrrr… All right, it’s a gorgeous warm day, weird for Scotland I am told, so let’s not sit in the house and prattle on to a computer, wot?