MONDAY, 12 JUNE, 2000, PHILADELPHIA

My Secret Pokémon Power today is — I can summon the balls it takes to post today’s particular diary entry. Okay kids. This one is rough. Some time ago, Pinch and/or Lees™ “dared” me (in so many words) to do what they had already done — namely, to voluntarily post awkward-stage blackmail photos on the web. My respect for Pinch soared when I saw the picture she posted here. And nothing will ever supersede the iron testicles of Lisa McC which she grew when she posted this picture (the 1982ish one about four pictures down). She is not to be out-done. And if she were, I am not the one to out-do her. I mean, technically speaking, I have the resources to put that picture to shame, but as of press-date, I cannot bring myself to “go there” just yet. But I can get pretty raunchy and bad. Like these. I wince, but I post them proudly… Special fun-time game. You can move the floating pointer-head over the pictures to create a hilariously interactive scenario! Circa 1972. Yes, friends and fans, those are in fact leiderhosen on the little Marquis’ callipygian buttocks. Umm… Again, circa 1972. Rockin’ out with two fists in the … lap … to my favourite album by Joan Baez! Put your hand in the hand of the man who wore the shit-hued outfit, yo! Dig the avocado motif. Who said Dorothy Hammill only had influence over the ladies? Here the Marquis sports his high-fashion iron-on appliquéd t-shirt with the “punk rock” message in curly-cue font: “Only the good die young; I’ll be here forever!” One of my favourites. Badass! Circa 1980 with brother Pschtÿckque. I could comment about the red shorts, the half-untucked white t-shirt, and the fucking kneesocks, but I’m not going to. Instead I will deflect attention from myself and point out that, ha ha! Pschtÿckque has pinstripes on his kneesocks! Ha ha! How geeky! Circa 1981. Requisite pre-geek Atari 2600, Donkey Kong, and a neighbourhood kid with whom to play a gruelling game of “doubles”. Go, Mario, go! I have this song stuck in my head today. Now you should too.