The Marquis’ Intimate Diary

WEDNESDAY, 19 APRIL, 2000, PHILADELPHIA
Demonia! I have a confession to make. I’m in love. Yes, your black-hearted, come-no-closer-than-arm’s-length, been-there-done-that Marquis is madly, head-ovah-hellfires in luvvvvv! And who is the object of my undying and unparalleled devotion? Why, Demonia! of course — everyone’s favourite Kentucky GothTrannyPoetModel.

We have never spoken. Or emailed. (S)He does not even know that I exist, in truth. I am worshipping from afar, here. And, c’mon, in some scenarios, unrequited love is the only kind of love to have. I hope we never meet. I shall always treasure my misconceptions and hold in highest regard all the mystery surrounding this person who has the same effect on me as The Shaggs do — specifically, (s)he “brings my mind to a screeching halt.”

I have been a silent, anonymous Follower of Demonia for some months now, but it’s time I came out of the closet, because, my friends, something horrible has happened!

The email I received this morning:
From: Tiffany
Subject: <sniff>

Checked out Demonia lately?
It seems she’s not feeling your demi-cross-continental love and she’s gone out and found herself a bitch.
 I made a mad dash to Demonia’s site to see what the dealio was:

April 5, 2000 Well i have been dating this wonderful female who lives in IL. Her names is Jasmine and she is my beautiful dark goddess who i love with all my heart and soul!! I just got home from seeing her a few days ago and i miss her so much. Who knows when i will see her again. She is very special to me!!!
Godammit. This brings up a whole slew of questions. Par example:

  • How did that slimy Illinois bitch muster enough gumption to actually send a direct email to what is quite obviously nothing less than a deity? Zeus would have striken her down for such impudence, yet Demonia smiles upon such irreverent behaviour. Just goes to show, the ways of the gods are hard to predict.

  • How will this impact our relationship? Will I have to find another imaginary lover, or can we work this Midwestern Marauder into the fold?

  • Am I behooved to actually contact Demonia and pledge my trough, so to speak? What if I am turned down in favour of this new darkangel (s)he has found? I’m biting my nails neurotically right now…
Demonia, demonia! How you ladle your torments upon my tattered soul! Open your heart and your mini-casket-shaped-handbag-thing to me! I have ducats to place in both.

¡Señorita Demonia! ¡Te quiero! ¡Te desiro! ¡Te necesito!