“Self Portrait”
“American Gothic”
“2 Davids”
“The Scream”
“The Shining”
“A Clockwork Orange”
“Dr. Strangelove”
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I’m represented! Woo. They like me — they really like me!
And what fools they would be if they didn’t, eh? (schmirk)
Mordantia Bat told me about a startup company in San Francisco that was doing something … rather interesting. Online art representation for a global market. I looked into it, and two things made me think, “Heyyy, this is a real thing!”
1) They had, pre-launch, a staff of 40+.
2) They had a big space off Market St. in San Francisco — a city that’s so overcrowded and overpriced that one is lucky to get an apartment, not to mention a whole office space in a good part of town.
GO SEE MY STUFF!
It’s a year long contract, verrry “artist-friendly”, and can go on longer of course. I think the only restriction of note was that I could not submit my work to any other online galleries — which isn’t really a problem because I’m not aware there are any others. Anyway, I like their design and layout and they seem to be on the ball and hey, like I mentioned, they found an office space in SF. This means clout and funding, girls.
The problem with physically shipping my art from gallery to gallery is that most of the canvasses are actually old, flaky, fragile windows, which often have intentional cracks or pieces missing. Not the kind of stuff one feels particularly comfortable putting into the arms of the inept and uncaring delivery companies.
So in the meantime, while my stuff is safely 3000 miles away in San Francisco via email, I can still tote the actual pieces around the east coast and show in clunky ole’ 20th c. physical galleries. Though I’ve been lazy about doing research and portfolio mailing to SoHo type places lately.
Gawd, what a dork I am. I mean, my paintings are pretty ass but I have zero (Ø) PR skills. Which is the deadly duo that finally prompted me to get off my Gluteus Ubiquitous and send slides and bio, &c. to iTheo.com, named after Van Gogh’s brother who tried to promote him.
Nowwww, I just don’t know about that, considering that Van Gogh was, in his lifetime, one of the biggest losers and never sold a painting. Do you want to name your promotional company after the guy who promoted him? Innnteresting choice.
Anywhey, so this ice-water no-nonsense stony west coast bitch called me shortly after the package was received and curtly barked over the phone, “I love your work.”
You think I’m being derogatory, but I ain’t. It is precisely this kind of person whom I would never be caught having a drink with that I wish to represent me. I’m no foo’. I know how this shit works, and hard-as-nails and merciless is what I want.
So. If you’re reading this Leslie, LOVE YA’, BABE!
And so we come to my wheedling ploy. I ask my 17 loyal readers — okay, well 6 loyal ones, and 11 bored-at-work ones — to go visit and, like, send art cards of my stuff to your friends like it was spam.
Especially if your friends’ last names sound something like “Weisman”, or “Whitney”, or “Guggenheim”.
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