Spam is a scourge. We all know this. If I had a nickel for every time I clicked “delete” when I received a piece of trite spam … well then I’d have carpal tunnel by now.
And so it is with a profound sense of shay-um that I received, read, and even forwarded this dumb-ass stupid solipsistic spam quiz thing to a bunch of unsuspecting, good-natured peeps who didn’t deserve such impersonal treatment.
Wanna play “get to know your Marquis”? No? Too bad.
FULLNAME: Marquis Déjà Dû
LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Living is a temporary arrangement.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS? Someone’s cheating.
YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Don’t watch TV. Kill your TV. (Though AbFab was pretty groovy.)
YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN? La Comtesse Melusine de Nuit.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Crud, crumbs, skin, dirt, College logo.
FAVORITE MAGAZINE? “Suffering Is Hip", duh.
FAVORITE SMELLS: Snow. Baking bread. Magnolia trees in the Garden Dist. Musty basements/attics/old book stores.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Agoraphobia.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Too many family members on this list to answer this question.
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: Barbarella, Into the Woods, Liquid Sky, etc.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING? “What the FUCK is that NOISE!?”
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Au contraire, I require motion at all times.
ROLLER COASTERS- SCARY OR EXCITING? Fun enough, but the queues to get on them render them dull.
PEN OR PENCIL? Fountain pen.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? All of them. I screen.
FUTURE SON’S NAME: Peabody
FUTURE DAUGHTER’S NAME: Cupcake
FAVORITE FOODS: Duck + donuts.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? Far too much. I gave it up for New Years.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Oh, whichever hasn’t turned, sweetie.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Yes. Road trips = therapy.
STORMS— COOL OR SCARY: The scarier, the cooler.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: Ohlawd. Faux-wood-sided 1978 Chrysler LeBaron Wagon with beige carpeting and a drink holder. And some petrified french fries in the back seat. And a “76” ball on the antenna.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANY PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Oscar Wilde, Dorothy Parker, Agnes Moorhead, Edith Massey. In that order.
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Sazerac.
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN ? Leo. Fierce. Rrrow.
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes, but how is that interesting?
GUYS- IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT? Spontaneous disrobing is always in fashion.
GIRLS- WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT?
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? Too long to list.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? “If”? I’m a jack-off of all trades.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Again, “if”? Blackpurpleburgundy, as it is now.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes. Can check that off my list now.
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? My paintings and a spider that I can’t bring myself to touch or kill.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? The glass is “not completely filled to capacity.”
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE? Is this a plug?
FAVORITE MOVIE(S): Today, “Smile”. This list could go on for pages, so I won’t even start.
FAVORITE ACTOR? Divine.
FAVORITE ACTRESS? Divine.
ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Righty, though I rock out with two fisties in the airy.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? I fairly whistle at a keyboard and beeyooootiful prose erupts.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Evidence.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER ? 3.
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? One that costs nothing to maintain and runs on rice.
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Traffic accidents.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON(S) WHO SENT YOU THIS: Dierdre informed me of Sarah Caudwell’s new book being released the instant she knew about it. She is solicitously thoughtful like that.
PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND: I am not in the habit of anticipating my friends’ and family members’ failures.
PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Most, if they consider Tuesdays boring.
Then of course one can reasonably expect some responses if one is crass enough to pass on this diseased spammage.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS:
- Very hospitable.
- Benchley.
- His hair feels great whipped accross my body.
- I am immensely intrigued. A plethora of talents … ok … that’s 2 things …
- He is extremely gifted.
- Stoopin’ Pro. And Much Much More!
- May you inadvertantly inhale a troy ounce of navel lint!
- Le Marquis Déjà Dû is one cool, talented dude.
- He’s using this as an excuse not to send out personal e-mails. But I forgive him.
</SHAME>
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